01-26-10

Home from the coast and I really felt a little stress creeping in. I will take a look at that but I simply tried to soak in all of what I saw and felt and will be taking that to welding this evening to class. I was looking forward to that. I have a few new designs in my mind and will be learning a whole new way to weld. I have learned 3 already and like MIG the best so far.
Saw many things that inspired me at the ocean and the art galleys. I really want nature to inspire me more than others works. I also want to have my own body of work.
I have no idea what that will be right now, it could be welding, painting, bead work, music or even writing.
Sometimes I really think I have too many different things going on and not one thing that I do and focus only on that. As you notice I didn't even write down acting and that is what I gave 20 years of my life to. I was so excited and grateful that I had found something I was passionate about it was a craft of a lifetime.
Acting. But I lost that passion and I think the politics really had something to do with that. Can we get tired of giving, doing, putting out money, networking and not seeing results. The answer is YES. Also I believe an amount of disappointment, unmet expectations put a damper on my drive. I was very successful and loved it. I don't love the stress anymore. I am in a short film and am very excited to be acting. Because it went back to being fun, I don't have to keep the rent on an apartment up and audition (if you get so lucky as to audition).
My challenge is to flow with what you may be filled up with. Are you filled with anger? frustration? nature? I will take what I am filled up with to welding class and see what happens.
What are filled up with?